As Resident Adviser of BOL this advice is also posted in the said SITE.
Magandang madaling araw . Gusto ko lang sabihin kung ganu ako kasaya na merong ganitong site dito sa pinas. Anyway,this is my story. I first began realizing I was gay nung grade 6 ako.
There is this guy, Marc, who kept kind-of flirting with me. He would give me high-fives, put his hand on my shoulder, rub my back, he even gave me a hug once. At that time I thought it was weird, pero ngayon when I look back at it I'm not sure if he was flirting with me or not.
I'm a 4th year high school right now and I sit next to him in my English subject. Should I talk to him about this or not?
Salamat!
Ray - 16
Hi Ray,
Thank you for supporting BOL and yours truly, you don’t know how it makes us happy knowing that people appreciate our works. It gives us such joy and pride that we were able to give others hopes from the story contributed by our resident authors, friendship through BOL chat and touches one’s heart by the advices we give.
Regarding your email, a simple gesture such as high-five may not be considered as flirting. Putting someone’s arm around our shoulder is the same thing as friends do that most of the time. That is their way to show that they are close to each other, the other way of showing brotherhood. Rubbing someone’s back or giving a massage does not justify that any guy or person is flirting with another, it may mean something to us but looking on the outer box these gives us assurance that no matter what he will always be there as friend to support you.
Hugging him once does not support the fact that the guy likes you especially if he knew that he is your friend. We usually do that when we are happy, sad or need some comfort without any malice. We sometimes mistook the concern, attention or actions given to us by people around us into something else but to their point of view it meant nothing but friendship.
Before you decide to talk with Marc, try to reconsider things as your decision may affect your relationship with him. Is he aware that you’re GAY? Ponder on what is important to you, FRIENDSHIP or LOVE. FRIENDSHIP… that no matter what happens you know that he’ll be there to support you, listen to your every stories, a shoulder to lean on and a brother figure. LOVE… be ready because you might loose a friend if he is not aware that you are GAY. Aside from that is the REJECTION… where he may not be able to compensate the affection you had for him… He may told you that he can only offer friendship but still reality check time will come that he’s going to ignore or even avoid you.
I wouldn’t say that I am more on the friendship side that I won’t talk to him about it…. but there’s still the WHAT IF factor… “WHAT IF he also likes me…. WHAT IF nagpapakiramdaman lang kami?.... WHAT IF he’s just taking time to tell me also that he really does care”. There would always regrets in the end not knowing what had stored for both of you. I cannot neither tell you to go ahead and talk to Marc because you will need a great courage to do that but still at the end of every road we have to choose what’s right for us. Always remember that…. “There are no wrong decisions in life… We just consider it a wrong decision because we tend to regrets on what we have done at the end… but the moment you choose that decision you know that it was the best decision you have….”
Good luck Ryan and I hope that things will work out fine between you and Marc.
Rest assured you'll have me as a friend..
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